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Love Your Fat
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and loved all of you–even the excess fat. Probably never. You may have cursed it, hated it and vilified it. How has that worked for you? Did it help boost your self-esteem? Did it motivate you to make long-term change? Did it help you love and accept yourself?
To make life-long healthy lifestyle changes, the first and most important step is to know where you are starting from, accept yourself, and acknowledge what actions and behaviors got you there. You probably didn’t wake up one morning and there it was.
Let’s look at where it came from:
Comfort–Food can be a great source of comfort. It can bring back childhood memories, sooth hurts and fill the void of loneliness.
Stuff feeling–Have you ever been so mad you could bite someone’s head off but grabbed a bag of chips instead?
Celebration–Food is central in many celebrations and holidays. Overindulgence has become the norm.
Protection–A layer of fat can be a shield from unwanted attention. Obesity is often a byproduct of sexual abuse.
Being invisible–Being invisible is being safe. People usually don’t pay much attention to an overweight person and there are less expectations.
Laziness–Exercise is hard. Watching TV and surfing the net is easier. Bad habits are hard to break and new habits take effort to form. Cooking healthy meals takes time and planning. Fast food is convenient and easy.
Misinformation–All of the so called diet and fitness experts give conflicting information. It’s almost impossible to figure out what is true. I Googled weight loss and got over 577 million hits. Diet got over 500 million. Fitness got over a billion hits. That’s a lot of information!
What has your fat done for you?
Carrying excess weight has actually had some benefits. Under that layer of fat are strong bones and a large muscle mass. But carrying the excess fat has also increased your risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke and many types of cancer.
It’s time to say goodbye. Fat may have been your friend for a lot of years, but that friend can hurt you. It’s time to move on to healthier ways to deal with your emotions. Allow yourself to express your feelings instead of stuffing them with food. Find ways to celebrate without overindulging. Allow yourself to be seen and shine. Find an exercise plan that you can enjoy. Take time to try some new
, healthy recipes.
Most of all, don’t beat yourself up for the path you’ve taken up to this point. Life is about the journey and the lessons learned. Enjoy your journey and start down the path to a healthier lifestyle today.
The Secret to Being a Warrior Not a Wimp
I told myself I was crazy to do this again. After all, I’d proven that I could do it, so why did I feel the need to run the Big Sur Half Marathon for a second time? At least when clients tried to give me the excuses of “I’m too old.” “I just can’t do what I did when I was young
,” I have set an example that even at 60 and not a great runner, I did the Big Sur Half Marathon–twice.
I did not go in to the race this year with the same confidence as I did last year. I didn’t feel like I trained nearly as hard, even though I was running faster. My head just wasn’t in it. I really thought about bowing out this year. My daughter wasn’t going to be running it, so I was on my own. Quitting seemed like a viable option in the short term, so why didn’t I quit? I knew if I quit, I would be letting down the people who were rooting for me and believed in me, but most of all, I knew I would be letting myself down. Quitting when the going gets tough can become a habit I didn’t want to fall into. How could I encourage other women to be warriors if I was a wimp?
The morning of the race, I dragged myself out of bed and headed down to the starting line before the sun even came up. I was thinking, “I don’t know if I can do this,” but I kept giving myself a pep talk to just give it my best no matter what the outcome. Heading to the starting corrals, the adrenaline was infectious. The sun was coming up and it was turning out to be a gorgeous day. I made up my mind to enjoy the beautiful day and breathtaking scenery.
By the time I got to the starting line, I was feeling pretty good. Coming up to mile one, I wondered why I was out of breath, then realized I was running faster then my best runs. I got into my rhythm and started enjoying myself. The hills didn’t seem nearly as bad as I’d built them up in my mind to be. Last year I felt like I was going to die going up some of the elevations, but this year I felt really good! I crossed the finish line and realized I’d knocked off almost ten minutes from last year’s time.
It would have been easy to quit, and I seriously thought about it. If I had, I would have missed out on the sense of accomplishment crossing that finish line gave me. When things are tough and look impossible, that’s the time to give it your best and not worry about the outcome. After all, if you’ve done your best, that’s all anyone can expect and reason to celebrate.
I shudder to think what the psychological effect would have been had I quit. I would have felt like a total wimp. What is the difference between a wimp and a warrior? Perseverance! A warrior doesn’t give up when the going gets tough. A warrior understands that you can’t fail unless you give up. No matter what challenges are ahead of you, as long as you don’t give up, you’re a warrior. To other people, my time for the race would seem ridiculously slow, but I did the best for me, and that’s all that counted. Comparing yourself to other’s accomplishments is self defeating. To be a warrior, just do your best and stick it out to the end.
The Diet in Shining Armor
“Maybe he’s the one! Maybe he will be my knight in shining armor who will make my life wonderful.” Virtually every woman who grew up on fairy tales has sought their knight in shining armor only to find when they think they’ve found the one, that their knight turns out to be a normal man with dents and dings in his armor.
If you listen in to women talking about the latest diet or fitness craze, it sounds pretty familiar.
“This one really worked for my friend. She lost 30 pounds, but she gained back the weight because she didn’t do it right.”
“Maybe this new supplement will finally help me melt off my fat. After all that is what they promised on TV.”
“If I don’t eat carbs
, that’s the secret.”
“All I have to do is drink this concoction and I will finally lose weight.”
“This one’s great– they promise no exercise needed!”
“This doctor promises weight loss using a gadget that melts off the fat.”
“If I just have the surgery, I won’t have to worry about my weight ever again!”
“If I buy this diet food, it will be easy to lose weight.”
“This insane workout plan is all I need to do.”
You would think we would have learned by now that there are no “diets in shining armor” or magical weight loss plans or supplements, no matter what is promised by the latest diet guru or even if you heard it on Dr. Oz. A healthy balanced diet and staying active is not very romantic and it doesn’t put a lot of money into the diet industry coffers.
Most of us stopped believing in the knight in shining armor and fairy tales when we grew up. I think it’s time we grow up and take responsibility for our own weight loss and fitness. Stop looking for the “diet in shining armor” that makes unrealistic promises. It’s just another fairy tale.
No Cheating–Ever!
We’ve all seen them—“The Cheaters Diet”, “How to cheat on your diet and still lose weight”, “diet cheat day”. Can you really “cheat” on a diet?
The dictionary definition of cheat is: “1. to deceive by trickery, swindle ; 2. to act dishonestly; 3. to be sexually unfaithful. After all, the definition for diet is simply “one’s usual food and drink; a regulated selection of food” and food is “material, usually of plant or animal origin that contains essential body nutrients”.
Now that we know what we’re talking about, how can you “cheat” on food? Can you trick or swindle it, be dishonest to it or be sexually unfaithful to food?
People who cheat or are cheaters usually feel a sense of guilt. You’ve been set up by the diet industry to feel guilty if you don’t follow the plan they’re trying to sell you. As long as they can make you feel guilty, you are giving them power over you and putting money in their pockets.
When you say “I cheated on my diet” or “I was naughty because I at such and such” you are assuming the role of a child to the “adult” diet expert. It’s time to take responsibility for the choices you make. No food should be forbidden and don’t take “guilty pleasure” in eating a “naughty” food. Don’t make your food choices a moral issue. After all, it’s just food.
Who is the cheater? The diet industry is currently a $25.8 billion a year industry and growing by leaps and bounds. In 1950, the diet industry was a $100 million a year and the obesity rate was 9.7% and the overweight rate was 30%. Today, the obesity rate is over 30% and the overweight rate is over 65%. The obesity and overweight rate have more than doubled since the 1970s.
Why is the obesity rate growing along with the diet industry? If the diet industry was beneficial, wouldn’t the obesity and overweight rates be going down? It seems to me that the diet industry is using trickery, swindling us and being dishonest. (Ok, maybe they’re not being sexually unfaithful, but they break their promises or vows to us all the time.) The conflicting information can’t all be right. You can’t possible “cheat” on your diet, but unfortunately you have been cheated by the diet industry.
What is the answer? It’s time to take back your power
, use your own common sense, quit buying into all of the latest fads and “miracles” and eat real food, not chemical laden crap posed as “diet” food that is supposed to be good for you. Processed food products, no matter how they’re advertised, can’t compete with mother nature.
It’s time to let go of the guilt, trust your own instincts and enjoy real food.
Solitude
“Me, write a book?” Sometimes I have to be dragged kicking and screaming to do what I know I’m supposed to do. For years, I had been telling myself all the reasons I couldn’t possibly write a book.
I recently spent the weekend with someone I tend to ignore a lot of the time…myself. I don’t spend enough time listening to the small voice inside—there are just too many distractions—the TV is on
, the phone ringing, the internet calling and the text messages dinging, not to mention all the things that need to be done—housework, laundry, grocery shopping, messages to return and the list goes on and on with all the “I shoulds”.
“STOP”, solitude was calling. “But I don’t have time. How will I get everything done? What will I do?” This was my second retreat at Christ in the Wilderness, a retreat center in the middle of nowhere with a cabin where I was totally alone—no phone, no TV, no internet and not even cell phone connection. Talk about feeling isolated.
To be honest, the first retreat that I went on, I went loaded down with reading material—another distraction. There were lovely hiking trails so every day I would go for a long hike because I should—I needed the exercise, it was good for me. I even climbed the highest hill on the grounds so I could get cell phone reception. That was a lot easier than having to listen to the voice I’d been ignoring for so long.
If you’ve never gone on a solitude retreat, let me tell you, it feels weird at first. I was in a lovely cabin, in a beautiful setting and had absolutely nothing I had to do and no one in sight. It took me awhile to give myself permission to nap when I felt like it, eat when I wanted and to sit on the porch and do nothing. Instead of “I should” go for a hike, I allowed myself a leisurely stroll and a nice long rest on a bench by the stream. But “I should” kept rearing its ugly head. “I should go for a hike or run for the exercise. I should find something to read or at least write in my journal. I should be doing SOMETHING!”
“STOP”, the voice inside said once again, “You don’t have to do—just be.”
“But I don’t know how—isn’t that just being lazy?”
There is a message in the silence. To hear it, you just need to get behind all the words and noise that crowd it out.
For this retreat, I took only pens, paper and for some reason, at the last minute, threw in a box of crayons. I wondered why I took the crayons—I have absolutely no artistic ability. The first night, not knowing what else to do, I got out paper and crayons and started to draw. They say a picture is worth a thousand words—words had always been my medium of choice. Using a different medium, one that I was uncomfortable with—started the flow of creativity. I couldn’t write and draw fast enough to get all the words—all the message out. I found myself, at times, laughing and crying. (One of the beautiful things about solitude—you don’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks. You can let everything out.)
By the second day I was starting to learn how “to be”. The voice of “I should” was getting quieter. I was starting to be able to hear my purpose calling me, “Write a book to help women who are going through some of the things you’ve been through.” And of course “I can’t” raised its ugly head. I had thought about writing a book on and off for years—but just didn’t believe I could actually write one. My self-confidence and my words just seemed to be blocked—I wasn’t sure why. Through the drawing I found an image come out of my voice being shut off, holding down my creativity. It was time to find my voice which I knew would be a challenge since I had always been labeled and labeled myself “shy and quiet”.
The last morning of my retreat I went for a walk to a quiet place, still contemplating how to find my voice. In the quiet solitude one word came to me—shame. I realized shame had been my block—I felt ashamed of my abilities, or lack thereof; my body, it’s far from perfect. How could I have the audacity to think I could help anyone else when I still have my own struggles? I found tears streaming down my face. I felt so inadequate for what I felt so strongly I was called to do. I sure don’t feel like a leader. I’m still on my own journey and at times I fall down or take the wrong path. I’ve struggled and I still struggle. I’ve been brave but I’m also afraid way too much of the time. I’ve taken the leap a few times not knowing if the net will appear—and it always has—but sometimes I still doubt. “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” Eleanor Roosevelt
I’ve been given a message and a mission. Maya Angelou said it best, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” I don’t have all the answers but I can walk beside you on your journey and share with you what I’ve learned. I can help pick you up when you stumble and fall, because we all do, and I know what that is like. No matter how tough times have been, I’ve always known this journey is an exciting adventure worth whatever obstacles need to be overcome. “Life is either a great adventure or nothing.” Helen Keller I can’t wait to see how far we can go. See you on the journey and remember, “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” Marie Curie
The Last Two Left Standing
Who was the sadist who thought it was a good idea to line little kids up on the playground, choose two team captains (who were always the most popular kids) and have them choose kids to be on their team. “Please don’t let me be the last one chosen” I’m sure went through a lot of little minds.
More times than not, it would come down to me and JJ—me, the shy kid who couldn’t throw a ball if her life depended on it and JJ, the fat kid. A bond was forged on that play ground that endures to this day.
Years went by—and life happened. JJ and I found that standing together and encouraging one another could give us both strength and take us places we never even imagined back on that playground.
Dealing with a marriage falling apart and my daughter’s anorexia, I had put on a lot of weight. JJ, always having a weight problem, by 50, was wheelchair bound, unable to walk or live independently.
I knew I needed to take better care of myself so I joined a gym. I was fortunate enough to work with a trainer who taught me the importance of strength training. As I found myself getting stronger physically, I found myself becoming stronger emotionally as well and gaining self-confidence. I finally had the strength to get a divorce.
On JJ’s 50th birthday, her health had deteriorated to the point she was hospitalized. The doctors and physical therapist basically gave up on her and told her she would never walk again. I was so ANGRY! I knew from the strength training that I was doing that you could regain muscle and I thought the right exercise could help JJ.
On a visit with JJ, I took some dumbbells with me. She told me later she thought I’d lost my mind. I showed her some things I’d learned at the gym and encouraged her to find a nutritionist who could help her find the right nutrition plan for her.
JJ started getting stronger and losing weight. By Christmas, six months after she was told she would never walk again, she took her first steps in over two years.
One day I was complaining, as I admit I sometimes do, about how dissatisfied I was with my job as a legal assistant. Being a good friend, JJ listened patiently, and asked me why didn’t I quit my job if I was so unhappy. “And do what?” I asked. “Why don’t you become a personal trainer?” Now I knew JJ had lost her mind.
“You were in gym class with me. You, of all people, should know how unathletic I am. Besides, I’m 50—that’s just too old to start a career like that.”
“But people like me need people like you to help us.” Ok, she guilted me into at least finding out what the best personal training certification was and send for the material. The books sat in the box for six months. “I must be crazy to think I can do this at my age” I kept thinking. But I finally got the books out of the box
, studied, took my personal trainer exam and to my amazement—passed!
I had no idea what the next step was that I should take. Once again, JJ came to my rescue with her advice. “Why don’t you write a letter to a gym?” So I did and they actually offered me a part-time job as a personal trainer. I had found my passion and my purpose in life.
In the meantime, JJ was getting stronger, losing weight and decided she wanted to move to California and live near the beach—a dream she’d had since she first heard the Beach Boys as a teenager. She loaded up her van and it was California or bust.
I was still working fulltime as a legal assistant and part-time as a personal trainer but I knew I wanted to do personally training fulltime. I was offered a personal training job in another city. It was a scary prospect so I called JJ, and once again her advice was just what I needed, “If you don’t try, you’ll always wonder,” she said. I quit my job, sold my condo and moved to a city where I knew NO ONE. The stars must have been aligned and I met the right people, started my own personal training business, became a healthy lifestyle coach and new doors keep opening.
I recently had the opportunity to ask Lisa, the person who took a chance on hiring a trainer with no experience (and really had no idea what she was doing) why she took a chance on me. “I saw your passion,” she told me, “and you still have it.”
As for JJ, she lives about five minutes from the beach—went from being unable to live independently and take care of herself—to living on her own and owning her own boutique.
JJ and I may have been the last two standing together on that playground—and we’re still standing—today we’re standing strong.
6 Secrets to Achieving your “Big” Goals
Like most people, I’ve set goals and failed time-after-time–I’d eat healthier, I’d finally lose those last 10 pounds, I’d exercise every day without fail, I’d stick to my budget–the list goes on and on.
I’ve accomplished some big goals and one of my biggest was the first time I ran a half marathon. I need the reminder at times that if I applying these same principles to other goals, I can accomplish anything if I want it badly enough!
My daughter called me one day and said “Mom
, you’re in good shape,” “why don’t you run a ½ marathon with me”. “Well, it would have to be a really cool one,” I replied. “How about Big Sur?” she asked. “That sounds cool.” I said hesitantly.
Almost immediately she posted on her Facebook “WOOHOO, my mom is running the Big Sur ½ Marathon with me!”
“Crap”, I thought, “how will I ever manage to run 13 miles?” I haven’t run on a regular basis in over twenty-five years, my knees are a mess and I’m 59 years old. I sent in my registration anyway, paid the entry fee–and I was committed.
Of course, just my luck, the summer I started training for the Fall run happened to be one of the hottest in history—and I HATE hot weather. I got up at the crack of dawn started out. “What the hell was I thinking?” was a constant thought as I trudged around the track. I was so slow at first people probably wondered if I was even moving, but I kept at it throughout the long, hot summer.
I started to find that I enjoyed competing with myself and trying to improve my time. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and I actually started to enjoy the running. I slowly kept increasing my distance until one day I decided to see just how far I could run—I did the full 13 miles and even in under the time allotted for the race! “I can do this!”
On the way home I realized that if I could run 13 miles, I could accomplish ANYTHING! What was different about this goal than all of the others I’d attempted and failed?
1. I had a definite goal—a specific distance I needed to achieve.
2. It was a BIG goal…it would push me beyond what I thought I was capable of doing. It challenged me to reach a place inside I had let remain untapped for too long.
3. There was a firm date set by which I needed to achieve my goal. To achieve this goal, I couldn’t procrastinate. If I wanted to accomplish it, I had to start today. There was no putting off until tomorrow or waiting until the last week. This wasn’t a final exam that I could cram for at the last minute.
4. I had a commitment to other people (my daughter and all of our Facebook friends). It was important to me not to disappoint my daughter.
5. Achieving the goal was totally up to me. I couldn’t blame anyone else or use anyone as an excuse. I had to do the work. I couldn’t make excuses, or let outside circumstances waylay me—even the hot weather, and
6. Failure was never an option. I never considered not finishing the race.
The day of the race finally came. The forecast was for rain, but just before the start time, the sun came out and it was a beautiful day. I thought I would be nervous, but I KNEW I could do this. I never had any doubt. I knew I wouldn’t set any time records, but decided to enjoy the beauty of the waves crashing on the shore and the cool ocean breeze.
Yes, it was tough…about mile 8 going uphill, it got very rough, but I kept telling myself “just keep putting one foot in front of the other”. Stopping was not an option. At mile 12, I realized I REALLY was going to do this and felt like I was running on air. Nearing the finish line and seeing my daughter cheering me on with a look of pride on her face, made all the hours and miles worthwhile. There were tears in my eyes as I received my medal. Achieving my goal gave me a sense of accomplishment, but reaching a place deep inside and achieving a potential I never knew I had, gave me a sense of fulfillment I’d not experienced before.
Lost in the Land of Oz
I don’t watch Dr. Oz very often because when I do I always end up pissed off. If you follow the advice on the show
, you’d be taking hundreds of pills a day, spending lots of money and still have no idea what to eat and what not to eat. Every week there is a new “miracle” diet, “secret” fat burner, etc, etc—come on, really? How many “new miracles” can there be?
I happened to catch it last week when he featured Biggest Loser trainer, Bob Harper, and his latest lose- weight-quick book, Jumpstart to Skinny. It could be more aptly titled, The Auschwitz Diet. His claim is that you can lose 20 pounds in three weeks on his diet by consuming just 800 calories per day. I agree, you will lose weight on this diet—unfortunately most of the weight you lose will be water and lean muscle. He claims you only need to exercise 15 minutes a day—you’d be hard pressed to have enough energy to get through your day let alone exercise for any more than that on such low calorie consumption.
The Nazis discovered that prisoners lived longer than they anticipated on just 800 calories per day. This is because when deprived of enough nutrition, the body, being an efficient machine, slows the metabolism down to conserve energy. It’s known as the Starvation Syndrome. Since muscle uses a lot of calories, the body tries to conserve as much energy as possible by getting rid of the muscle. The body cannibalizes the muscle to use it for energy and to reduce the energy requirements, since each pound of muscle burns 40-50 calories per day.
So now you have lost 20 pounds, what happens next? You’ve now been set up for the Yo-Yo Dieting Syndrome. Once you go off the diet, which you will, unless you have a severe eating disorder (if so, please seek medical/psychological help immediately), and go back to your normal eating habits, the weight is going to come back more quickly and easily then it went away. If you lost 20 pounds according to the scale, approximately 6 pounds of what you lost is lean muscle. You have now lowered your daily calorie requirements by almost 250 calories. Now you’re wondering “What did I do wrong? Why can’t I keep the weight off?” It’s not your fault! You have fallen prey and have become a victim of the $20 billion dollar per year diet industry. Out of your frustration, you are now more susceptible to the next “Miracle Diet” “Secret Fat Burner Pills” as touted by the charlatans like Dr. Oz to put more money in their pockets.
The real “Secret” “Miracle” to permanent, healthy weight loss is to get off the scale and away from the numbers that really don’t tell you very much. The scale tells what the package weighs, not what’s in the package. If you want to be toned, healthy and fit–concentrate on losing body fat. It’s not very glamorous and it is hard to sensationalize, but for permanent fat loss, you need to eat a healthy, balanced diet, build and conserve muscle with strength training and burn calories by getting off your butt and moving more—there you have the real “miracle”, “secret” “fat burner”. It’s time to take back your power and stop being a victim of the diet industry.
What’s Your Five Year Plan?
“What’s your five year plan,” the doctor asked Helen.
“What do you mean, my five year plan, I’m 80.”
“Everyone needs a five year plan. I think you need to start strength training.”
“WHAT! I’m 80!”
“No excuses–let’s find you a trainer.”
That’s how I came to do strength training with 80-year-old Helen. Helen had accepted that frailty, disease and disability were a natural part of the aging process, but Helen had a can-do attitude and was willing to give it a try. I came to love and admire Helen’s spirit. Helen and her husband traveled the world. She had gotten to the point that if there were stairs on a tour, she would sit on a bench and wait for the others and bypass the cathedral or whatever site was on the agenda. It was a shame she had to always be on the sidelines because of the limitations of her body.
Helen had also given up going places by herself because if there were stairs, she wasn’t able to manage them. As Helen became stronger, she lost her fear of going places by herself and became much more independent.
After strength training for two years, Helen slipped and fell and broke her hip. The doctors were amazed how much muscle she had in her hips and legs. In fact
, they said any other 82 year old would probably be dead from such a fall. But Helen was a warrior—when life knocked her down, she got right back up.
Helen called me one day very upset. “They kicked me out of therapy,” she said. “What do you mean–they kicked you out of therapy?” I replied. “The doctor approved me for twenty sessions and they kicked me out after only two sessions. They said I met all the criteria of activity for an average 82-year-old.” I had to laugh, “Well, Helen, they don’t understand that you’re not the average 82-year-old.”
When Helen was 84, she and I and two of my friends went and stayed at a villa in the south of France. There was no more sitting on the sidelines for Helen on this trip! She kept right up with the rest of us, even though we were all a good 30 years younger.
“Thank you,” Helen said at the end of our trip, “I never thought I could have so much fun again at my age.”
No, Helen, thank you. You proved that even at the age of 80, a warrior doesn’t give up.
At 85, the doctor once again asked, “OK, Helen, what’s your five year plan?”
Everyone needs a five year plan—what’s yours?
Don’t F**k with My Food
When Katherine first came to work out with me, she could barely make it down my basement stairs and then had to sit down to catch her breath. Katherine was in her early 50s and weighed over 350 pounds. One of the first things I asked Katherine was what her diet was like. She looked me straight in the eye and emphatically said “don’t f**k with my food”. “Well,” I thought, “there are definitely some issues here.” I decided that the best thing I could do for Katherine was to help her become stronger, more mobile and functional.
Katherine was a loving, giving person, and as a nurse, had put taking care of everyone else ahead of taking care of herself. She was doing administrative work at the hospital because she could no longer handle the rigors of working on the hospital floor. When she needed to fill in on the floor, the task was almost too much for her. Katherine had already had both knees replaced and was petrified of falling down because she knew she wouldn’t be able to get up if she did.
The first time I had Katherine step off and on a 3” step, she was so terrified I thought my fingers were going to turn blue from her gripping them so hard. As she became stronger physically, I saw Katherine’s confidence increase. Before long she was on and off that step like it was nothing, but the one big fear remained “if I fall down, I won’t be able to get back up”.
Weight benches are not made for a wide girth. One day Katherine went to sit down on the bench, missed and landed squarely on her butt on the floor. Katherine looked at me and I looked at her and I knew we were both thinking “now what?” The next thing I knew Katherine started giggling. We both sat on the floor and laughed until we cried. “Ok,” I said, “let’s try one of the techniques I learned in one of my personal training classes for getting up.” I showed Katherine the technique. I don’t know who was more shocked, me or Katherine, when she turned over and hopped right up. After that, she wanted to do floor exercises as part of her workout because she could! “It’s not pretty,” she would say, “but I can do it!”
When I put the risers on the step and told Katherine it was time to climb higher, I saw the fear come back. Once again she was petrified of that step. After I got the feeling back in my fingers, I told Katherine “you conquered the first step and you were just as afraid—I know you can conquer this one as well.” And she did!
One day my phone rang, it was Katherine calling me from her vacation. “Thank you,” she said with tears in her voice. “I was able to walk up a hill today without getting out of breath. I can finally enjoy my vacation.”
Katherine’s life partner, Pat, was a huge Jimmy Buffett fan. Katherine knew how much it would mean to Pat to go to a concert but Katherine was afraid she would not be able physically to attend because it was at an outdoor venue with lots of walking and bleachers to climb, but Katherine bought tickets anyway hoping she would be able to get handicapped access.
Things didn’t work out the way Katherine planned and they ended up having to park across a field and climb half way up the bleachers—and she DID IT! She was so proud of herself, but more importantly she was glad to be able to share that special event with someone so dear to her.
Shortly after that concert, Pat was diagnosed with cancer and only had a few months to live. While she was building strength, Katherine had no idea how she was going to need it. Because of being physically strong, she was able to care for Pat during her illness. Katherine continued to work out because she found out how much it helped her deal with the stress of Pat’s illness.
Losing Pat was very difficult for Katherine but she gave herself permission to feel her grief and was working through it as she continued to work out to take care of herself.
Katherine loved babies. When her cousin had a new baby she was so excited. She decided to take a vacation to enjoy her family and love on that baby. She was so proud and happy when she told me she was able to get on the floor and play with the baby and to take him for a walk in his stroller.
The last time Katherine worked out with me she wasn’t feeling very well and thought she’d caught a bug on vacation. Two days later I got a call that Katherine had suddenly passed away.
No, Katherine never got a body beautiful, but she had quality put back into her life by becoming stronger physically. She had no idea how she was going to be called on to use her strength, but when the need arose, she had what she needed to step up to the task. You may be thinking how sad it is that Katherine’s years were cut short. I think it is sadder how much life was taken from her years by the limitations of her body. Fortunately
, she was able to reclaim some of that life. Katherine was a warrior—she conquered the fears that were self-limiting. I still have the Christmas card from Katherine with a simple note saying “thank you for guiding me back to myself.”
