Practically Fit interviews Joan Maiden
The Art of Aging Disgracefully
August 25th, 2026 by Joan Maiden
I remember the first time someone called me “ma’am” with that tone. Not the respectful kind. The dismissive kind—the tone that quietly filed me under no longer relevant and moved on.
I remember catching my reflection in a store window and feeling genuinely startled by the woman looking back at me.
Where did she come from? When did that happen?
I remember the exact moment I realized I had become invisible in certain rooms. That my voice seemed to carry less weight than it used to. That younger people sometimes looked past me, as if I had nothing left worth hearing.
I remember the sting of it.
The Story We Were Handed
We were taught that aging is something to fight, hide, or apologize for. We absorbed this without ever agreeing to it. Nobody sat us down and said the words directly, but we learned them anyway: there would come a time when we’d need to step back. Make room. Fade gracefully into the background.
The subtext was always the same. A woman’s worth is tied to how she looks, how she serves, and how comfortable she makes everyone else feel. That worth diminishes as youth fades. Power dims along with fertility. You become less visible, less relevant, less necessary as the years accumulate.
We’re told to be grateful for whatever attention remains. And once you’re older? Try not to be too much of anything.
Too loud.
Too visible.
Too demanding.
Too sexual.
Too angry.
Too present.
Just… less.
