To My Daughter

January 21st, 2021 by Joan Maiden

January 20

, 2021 was a historical day for all women. As I watched the first woman to be sworn in as Vice President, I had tears in my eyes because I had doubted I would see it in my lifetime.  The glass ceiling is finally shattering.

When I was a young woman looking for a job in the newspaper ads (yes, real newspapers), they were listed as “Men’s Jobs” and “Women’s Jobs”. On job interviews it was common to be asked if I was planning on getting married and getting pregnant. Men working beside women in the exact same job were paid more with the reasoning men had to support families. The single man without a family, working beside the single mother working to support her children, earned more. Married women were typically paid less because, after all, they “had a husband to take care of them”.

When I became pregnant with you, my boss asked when I planned to quit. Maternity leave was not an option. Birth control was not always available to single women let alone a woman’s right to control her own body.

I am so proud of the strides you’ve made in your own career and life. The sky’s the limit now. Never forget what a strong woman you are and the strength of women when they unit.  My generation fought hard for equality. We now pass the torch to you and the generations of women to follow. We’ve come a long way, but remember to remain vigilant. Let NO ONE infringe on your rights for equality.

Love,

Mom

 

“Today I Give Myself the Gift of My Life”

December 8th, 2020 by Joan Maiden

I’m in quarantine. A co-worker has Covid19. These are scary times. As easy as it is to let fear and anxiety take over, I’m trying my best to keep a positive focus. Self-care is of up most importance for all of us in the midst of the fear and uncertainty running rampant. As easy as it would be to feel self-pity; it helps no one

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, especially me. In the midst of the feeling that life is out of my control, I realize that control is an illusion. I never had the control I thought I did. I can only control what I can; to practice self-care and how I think; to live my life in this moment and make the most of today.

Meditation, journaling, fresh air, exercise and sunshine are key elements for me to stay positive. Knowing that I took necessary precautions like social distancing, wearing a mask and sanitizing have gone a long ways to reduce my anxiety and fear that even though I’ve been exposed, my risk of contracting the disease is minimal. Having two weeks off work, I have no excuse not to spend the time with my writing. I plan to make the most of the gift of this time.

2020 has been especially challenging. This is the time of year to start thinking about gift giving and the holidays. Not being able to spend the holiday with family and friends in the normal traditions can lead to depression and a sense of loss. Traditions will have to change this year even though change is often difficult to embrace. It’s time to be creative. How can you reach out to cheer up someone? Maybe a phone call, a Zoom get together or a note or card in the mail. Everyone is hurting. Not only will you cheer up others, it will make you feel better. Doing for others is a form of self-care.

2020 has been a year of reflection more than most. It’s brought the realization of how fragile life can be. I’ve had to ask myself “Is this how I want to live the rest of my life, however long that may be?”

The gift I give myself this year is the gift of my life—to; live it day-to-day doing what brings me joy and fulfillment; to follow my passion and fulfill the purpose I’ve been put on earth for. 2020 has taught me the lesson to not put off my dreams until tomorrow. This moment in time is all I have.

(FYI: I had a Covid19 test today. I’ll keep you posted.)

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

November 9th, 2020 by Joan Maiden

Making decision has never come easy for me. I can mull things over for weeks and still be uncertain of what decision to make and often by the time I make a decision, it is too late–the opportunity is gone

Growing up, I wasn’t taught to make my own decisions, but doing what I was told was the expectation. When I had to make decisions for myself, they often did not seem to be the best choice.

In hindsight, what I regretted as poor decisions was more often than not a lesson I needed to  learn.

Now that I’m older, I’m beginning to realize that delaying making decisions is delaying living. It is missing opportunities and open doors. The decisions I choose to make are mine alone. Right or wrong, it is totally my choice. Any decision is better than no decision.

“I step out of the tomb of uncertainty. The power of decision is mine.”

 

 

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, sky, outdoor and nature, text that says ‘"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." Theodore Roosevelt'” />

I Can See Clearly Now

October 7th, 2020 by Joan Maiden

My vision was never great, but I thought it was normal with glasses. Then I had cataract surgery and was amazed at how clearly I could see. I had been looking through a cloud. What I thought was normal, was far from it. The world was in focus for the first time since I could remember, and I realized how much I had been missing. It made me wonder how much of what I think is normal have I been viewing through a cloud?

Growing up in a small farm community in the Midwest clouded my vision of the world. Not being exposed to different races and cultures gave me a limited view. It was easy to assume that everyone had the same life experiences as me.

Visiting different parts of the world

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, and even parts of our own country was an eye-opening experience. Talking openly to people of diverse races, cultures, ages and backgrounds taught me that even though we may all seem different, when the vision is clear, we are all the same.

How clearly do I see myself or is that clouded by self-doubt, lack of confidence and other people’s perceptions–how they see me?

It is necessary to stay open-minded, ask questions and listen to people who are different than me. When I questioned my own reality about the world, people and even myself, the focus became clear and changed my life.

 

 

Dive Into Every Joy

August 18th, 2020 by Joan Maiden

It’s difficult in today’s world not to get in a funk. Not seeing family and friends or even being able to go out to dinner takes its toll

, let alone the fear and anxiety of the pandemic. Throw in the hate, violence, racism and negativity we are bombarded with,,it’s often hard to find joy.

This morning, turning the page in my journal, these words jumped out at me, “Dive into every joy!”

 I started contemplated things that bring me joy that I’ve been neglecting. Music, meditation and writing were high on the list. What does it mean to dive into joy? Diving is letting go, free falling.  Once you dive, you’re committed; there’s no turning back mid-dive. When you dive into the water, you are totally immersed. There is nothing else but the water. Whatever is happening on shore is meaningless. For me, diving into joy is completely embracing and giving myself to that which brings me joy and forgetting, at least for a time, everything else.

 What joy can you dive into today?

My Shelter in Place Strategy

April 14th, 2020 by Joan Maiden

Starting week four of Shelter in Place, I feel like I’m handling it pretty well. When the order first came down, one of the first things I did was to load some library books on my Kindle so I would have plenty to read. The first book I read was A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. It proved to be especially appropriate. It is the story of a Russian aristocrat who was placed under house arrest during the Russian Revolution. He had been staying in a hotel in Moscow and was ordered not to leave the hotel for the rest of his life. Instead of the nice suite he had been inhabiting, he was relegated to a small room in the attic. His philosophy was no matter the circumstances one finds oneself in, make the most of it.

He had few personal belongings but he took a few to the attic to make it feel more like home. He took the high quality sheets he was used to and made up the small bed in the attic. Quality soaps were also acquired. He started his day with good coffee, dined well, dressed and kept up his daily grooming, keeping to a normal routine. His next strategy was to make himself as useful as possible to the hotel employees and was befriended by a little girl living at the hotel. The child’s curiosity was infectious and he willing joined in the games of exploring the hotel.

My take-away from the book, was I can’t control what is happening right now, but I can to make the most of it. I now have time for a long, leisurely bubble bath. I stocked up on the Starbuck’s French Roast I love and have even reacquainted myself with cooking and baking.

There is no excuse not to spend time writing

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, meditating and reevaluating where I’m heading in life.

Exercise is a priority. I’m still able to take walks while social distancing and do some kind of strength workout a few times a week. A website that has great, free workout videos is Fitness Blender. They have something for every level using equipment or no equipment.

I strive to eat healthy but don’t get restrictive. I’m monitoring my weight more diligently than during normal times and when I see it start to creep up, eating a lighter dinner does the trick.

This may be the best time to get out the good china and put some candles on the table—all those things we save for a special occasion. This virus has taught me that every day I’m healthy and alive is a special occasion.

Tomorrow I may even do something really radical and put on makeup.

Plan Courageously– Execute Fearlessly

January 7th, 2020 by Joan Maiden

This time of year it’s time to make resolutions for 2020. I am a master planner, goal setter and resolution maker. The lists are written and vision board for the new year started.

In reading the Letters of Seneca, I was hit square in the face with this 2000 year old wisdom. “The fool…is always getting ready to live” and “It’s easier to plan than to do.”

Too often for me, the planning gets in the way of actually executing my plans and living life the way I choose. Fear holds me back.

My resolution for the new decade, is to start spending more time doing than planning. Having a plan and a goal is important but it can’t get in the way of moving forward and taking action.

This decade will be my time to plan courageously and execute fearlessly.

Golfing Ass Backwards

October 7th, 2019 by Joan Maiden

Did you ever have one of those dreams that when you woke up you weren’t sure if you had been dreaming or it was real? I recently woke up feeling frustrated at my inability to hit a golf ball. What was surprising is that I’m not really a golfer.

In my dream

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, I couldn’t hit the golf ball at all. I then realized that I was using a left-handed club (I’m right-handed) and I was attempting to hit the ball with the back of the club. No wonder, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hit the golf ball. Everything was ass backwards.

Dreams usually have something to say about real life, so what did this dream mean, I wondered. What in my life isn’t working because I’m using the wrong equipment the wrong way? What am I doing ass backwards?

What do I need to change to fulfill my dreams, ambitions and goals? What does the right equipment consist of–taking classes, making connections, attending events and networking? Maybe it’s asking for help when I need it and building a support group.

I’m not a golfer but I am a warrior. Life works much better when you choose the right equipment, use it the right way and stop trying to succeed at life playing ass backwards.

#f*ckoldage

New Construction

September 28th, 2019 by Joan Maiden

I have felt broken and shattered at times and have ofent been told that shattered pieces that are not whole and need to be put back together. Even mended, there is still the image that we are weaker and scarred. The pieces can be glued back together, even when arranged into a beautiful stained glass, we are still broken.

“I am making all things new.” Rev. 21:5

When a new construction is being built, you never hear that it is being made out of broken pieces although in reality it is. When an old construction is being demolished to make room for the new and the rubble is being cleared away, instead of lamenting the old debris, it is understood that the new construction will be stronger, beautiful and more useful than the old one.
The lumber used to build the new construction is not a whole tree but in reality, it is pieces of a broken tree. Lumber is not referred to as broken trees but new material to make a new, strong construction. The bricks or stones used to lay a new foundation are not considered broken, damaged goods.
The tiles used to make a beautiful floor or wall is never lamented for being broken pieces put together but rather admired for their beauty.
Although I’ve felt shattered and broken and lamented the pain it caused, there would have been no room for a new construction without clearing away the debris. I am not broken pieces glued back together or a pieced together stained glass

, no matter how beautiful.
I have been rebuilt into a new construction; stronger, useful and beautiful. This new construction can be put to any use I decide. It can provide shelter, be a sanctuary, a place of worship, a place to conduct business and provided services to others;a retreat and place of solitude.
Whatever purpose I decide to use the rebuilt me for, it will be nothing like the old. Life has changed me and I now have the freedom to decide what the new construction of my life will look like and be used for.

Die Young–At a Very Old Age

September 24th, 2019 by Joan Maiden

My intention is to die young—at around 102.  “How can you do that?” you may ask.  I plan to stay active and engaged in life as long as possible.  There have been numerous studies done on people who live active lives well past 100 from all over the world.  What is their secret and what can we do to live young all our lives?

  1. Rebel

Defy what you’ve been taught about aging.  Be a rebel who doesn’t go along with the beliefs on aging.

  1. Find your tribe

Find likeminded people to hang out with.  Your friends have an impact on your health and longevity. Take stock of who your friends are. Don’t hang around “old people” (those old in attitude) but rather look for people who make it easy to be happy and healthy.

  1. Move

Stay physically active.   Taking the stairs can decrease your chance of early death by 15%.  Walk a mile or more a day at a good clip.  Fast walkers have been shown to live longer than their couch potato counterparts.

  1. Laugh

A terrific sense of humor along with a strong survival instinct will help insulate you from negative emotions such as depression and anxiety.   Stay optimistic and smile.

  1. Tea Time

Enjoy a daily pleasurable daily ritual like a glass of wine

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, a cup of tea or a brownie.

  1. Have a Purpose

Know why you wake up in the morning. Have events and new challenges to look forward to.  Live in the present and look forward to the future.

  1. Belong

A strong sense of family and community helps us stay connected whether through a church or other religious organization or your biological family or friends.

  1. Stay Slim

Maintain a healthy weight.  Include plenty of nuts, fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet.

And my favorite

  1. Shop
    One study found that frequent shoppers live longer. (And you don’t even have to buy anything to benefit.) AARP reported that shopping lowered the risk of death by 28 percent for men and 23 percent of women.

Age is just a number—don’t let it define or confine you.

#f*ckoldage