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Uncharted Territory
Moving into uncharted territory can be intimidating. The unknown is often frightening. Ancient maps labeled that area “Here be Dragons”. This year, I challenge you to step off the edge of your map and look those dragons of fear in the face. Stepping out of your comfort zone into uncharted territory can feel scary and daunting, especially when life has settled into a familiar rhythm–your comfort zone. Have you mapped out your goals for 2025? How challenging will they be? Are they within your comfort zone or do they push you to grow?
Here’s the truth: Growth doesn’t have an age limit. The courage to step off the edge of comfort and into the unknown isn’t reserved for the young; it’s for the bold, the brave, and the curious—women like you.
Why Now?
Embrace Creativity
At retirement, you have the opportunity to pursue interests you may not have had time for when you were younger. Take advantage of this time of your life. Embrace and nurture your creativity and enhance your quality of life. Creativity:
1. Slows Mental Decline
Creative activities slow down cognitive decline, stimulate multiple areas of the brain, and keeps the brain alert. Painting, writing, crafting, cooking, gardening, and any activity that uses your creativity can enhance cognitive functions, sharpen focus, and improve critical thinking.
2. Is a Means of Self-Expression
Creativity can be a way to express your feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, and even experiences. Emotional venting through creativity can be profoundly therapeutic.
3. Gives a Sense of Achievement and Purpose
Working on a project, no matter how big or small, gives you a sense of purpose, and completing it gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Don’t Waste Your Time Strength Training
The Center for Disease Control recommends that seniors do at least 2 days a week of activities that strengthen muscles. Strength training is of utmost importance as we age. So why did I say don’t waste your time strength training? As a personal trainer, the workouts I see many older people doing at the gym frustrate me. Too often they are at best ineffective or dangerous and can cause injury.
Frail and elderly do not need to go hand-in-hand. You are never too old to build new muscle. An 80 year-old who has never exercised to build muscle will lose half of her muscle but a 70-80 year old who does regular strength training can be in as good as or better condition than a 20 something who isn’t active.
To build muscle and strength, certain criteria needs to met.
What’s the Perfect Gift?
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When I turned 70, I decided if I was ever going to accomplish some of the things on my bucket list, now was the time because time was running out.
.What’s Your Why?
Transformation the Warrior Way has been my tagline ever since I started my website. Recently I was asked what that meant to me. It made me stop and reflect after all this time, what it means to me today.
Boudica, Warrior Queen, inspired me to emphasize strength and independence. To step out of the status quo and forge your own path.
As I thought about it, I realized that to succeed, you need to know your “why”. Boudica’s compelling “why” was to free her people from the tyranny of the Romans. My why for starting my business and writing the books I’ve written, was to free women from the tyranny of the diet industry and the misinformation that is so prevalent regarding aging.
No matter what your goal is or what you want to achieve, you will not succeed until you identify your “why”. It’s imperative that it is your why. Not what you think you should do, what is good for you, or what anyone else thinks, your why has to be personal, fueled by passion. Whatever your goal, whatever your dream, ask yourself why it is important to you. Once you know your “why”, and back it up with passion, success is inevitable.
The Terrible Toos
You’re not too old, and it’s not too late!
Are you suffering from the terrible toos? No, not the toddler tantrum terrible twos when they push the limits, test their boundaries and their parents’ patience.
The terrible toos I’m talking about hits later in life. Instead of aging being a time of growth and development, it may turn into a time of excuses, limitations, and fear.
How often do you find yourself saying things like: “I’m too old, it’s too late, I’m too tired, I’m too sickly, I’m too poor, I’m too alone”? The list goes on and on. All of these toos can be a way to hide what we’re really feeling, “I’m too scared”.
Aging can be a scary process. The future is uncertain and we begin to realize that time isn’t
limitless. One definition in the dictionary of too is: to such a degree as to be regrettable. Don’t allow the terrible toos to cause you to live with regrets. No matter what your too is, there are ways to tackle it. Don’t let fear stand in your way. Be creative, find solutions, try something new, and don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for help. Don’t let the terrible toos rob you of your joy.
Every day is a precious gift to be opened and enjoyed at every age.
Reflections on Turning 70
Recently, I exited my sixth decade and entered my seventh. As I contemplated this transition, my expectation was that it would be rather depressing—a reminder that my time is running out. When I was young, I believed that I had all the time in the world.
As the day of my birthday approached, I was surprised to find that I had a change of attitude. This decade was a new opportunity to follow the dreams I’d been putting off until ‘someday’.No one is guaranteed ‘someday’. It is a false assumptions of youth, that there would be plenty of time.
There are trips I’ve been postponing until ‘someday’. Books I would finish writing ‘someday’. Friends I would spend more time with ‘someday’. Although the list seemed endless, I had to find a place to start. What were the most pressing items on my bucket list? The trip to Scotland I’ve always dreamed of taking? The book I started writing and put on the back burner? Losing my closest friend recently left me with regrets that I didn’t spend more time with her. I don’t want any more regrets, so I will spend time with the people who mean so much to me.
I’ve made the decision that my seventh decade is going to be a decade of achievement. I’m fortunate that I am in good health although my joints are stiffer and I have various aches and pains. I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says “If not now, then when?”. That is my theme for this decade. Am I going to act now or wait until my eighth decade when there will be even less time–if I’m fortunate enough to make it that far? There are no guarantees.
My only regret is I’ve wasted so much time waiting for ‘someday’. “If not now, then when?” It’s like we’re always told—use the good china, take the trips, hug your family and friends, and don’t save anything until someday. Even if I don’t accomplish everything I want this decade, I know that I will accomplish nothing if I don’t make the plans, reserve the trip, call my friends, and even get out the good china. It’s time to enjoy every minute of right now. 
Progress Over Perfection
We are in the middle of February. How are those New Year’s Resolutions going? If you’re like
most people, you’ve probably given up on them by now. I’m sure you started out with the intention to succeed. What happened? Chances are, you had unrealistic expectations.
I am an expert at making plans and signing up for programs that promise to help me reach my goals, whatever they may be. I make lists and set up programs on my computer that promise to keep me on track and buy the books. Unfortunately, I forget to open the programs and the books gather dust on the self. What’s my problem? As soon as I don’t follow the program, don’t stick to my goals, or meet my unrealistic expectations, I feel like I failed, so I give up.
Occasionally, we make drastic changes overnight, usually due to experiencing a crisis such as health problems, losing a job, or a broken relationship. To survive, we have no choice but to make changes overnight. Why don’t we succeed at these smaller changes that, by comparison, should be easy? What’s the solution?
- Know your why. Often, you may not have a strong enough ‘why’.. Because you ‘should’ will never motivate you long-term. We all know eating healthier, being financially responsible, more organized, exercising more, being more organized, or being more productive are worthwhile goals, but why is your goal important to you? Make it personal.
- Have a clear vision. Have a vision of what your life will look like once you achieve your goal. What activities will you be able to do? What enjoyment will it bring you? How will it change your life?
- Have realistic expectations. If your expectation is that you will follow our plan perfectly and when you don’t, you may think you’ve failed and give up. The expectation of perfection is not realistic.
- Going it alone. Having support and/or an accountability partner can make the difference between success and failure. Ask for the type of help you need. Do you need someone to hol
d you accountable or someone to support and encourage you, or both? Don’t be afraid to ask for the type of support you need.
When you’re making progress, even tiny baby steps, you cannot consider that you’ve failed. Small steps add up to massive success over time.
Big Heart
Our hearts can hold more than we give them credit for. I never thought it was possible to hold intense grief and extreme joy at the same time. Can a heart break and remain whole?
Preparing for my daughter’s wedding was exciting and happy. At the same time, my best friend, JJ was suffering from physical problems. Her health deteriorated to the point she was unable to speak or swallow. Surgery revealed a rare form of thyroid cancer. I made plans to visit her right after the wedding. I knew it would be our final goodbye.
The day before my daughter’s wedding, I received the phone call I dreaded. JJ had passed away that morning. Every text I received from her ended with “I love you, my friend”. It broke my heart that I would never get the chance to tell her one final time that I loved her and what her friendship had meant to me through the years.
Would I be able to put a smile on my face during the wedding celebrations? The wedding morning was a beautiful sunny day. The love and joy shining from my daughter’s and her fiance’s eyes made it impossible not to share in their joy and happiness. My heart was bursting with love. At the reception, I asked the minister how I could feel so much grief and happiness at the same time. His response was, “because our hearts are big enough to hold grief and joy “.
I realized that grief needn’t take away joy. My heart could hold both at the same time. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel grief, but I’m learning to look for joy in the memories and not to let it be so all-consuming that I don’t find joy in other areas of life.
RIP my sweet friend. I love you.
Someday
As I look at my calendar to plan my week, there is Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday–seven days to the week, There is one missing. It is the one that I place most of my to-dos on—Someday. But it doesn’t exist, so those Someday plans never get done.
This past week, a beautiful soul left this earth. She fought cancer for over nine years. When I heard about her passing, I was reminded of the lessons she taught me about Someday.
We were sitting in a coffee shop catching up. She told me that her cancer was now stage four and terminal but that she wasn’t planning to die, she was planning to live. When first diagnosed, her first goal was to make memories with her grandson. She renewed the lease on her art studio not knowing if she would be there until the end of that lease. She signed up to take a class she wanted to take. “I don’t know if I will be around to finish it, but if I don’t start, I defiantly won’t.”
When cancer spread to her brain, that was especially difficult because it took away what she loved, her art. But instead of giving up, she explored other forms of art that she could still do. She fought back long after most of us would have given up—right up until the end. Even though unable to walk or get out of bed, she fought to keep all of her faculties, abilities, and talents. She didn’t put off anything until Someday, because she knew Someday didn’t exist.
It’s time to stop planning to live Someday. It’s just another word for never. Planning can simply
be a way of procrastinating, even though it may feel productive. The only day that exists is Today—this moment. Maybe not everything on that to-do list will be completed, but nothing will be accomplished if you don’t start, even if you run out of time to finish.
#agingstrong. #fuckoldage. #womenwarriors, #changeaging. #joyfulaging. #agewithpurpose,
#agewithpower, #nottooold , #nottoolate, #agingfit, #changeyourlife
