“Today I Give Myself the Gift of My Life”

I’m in quarantine. A co-worker has Covid19. These are scary times. As easy as it is to let fear and anxiety take over, I’m trying my best to keep a positive focus. Self-care is of up most importance for all of us in the midst of the fear and uncertainty running rampant. As easy as it would be to feel self-pity; it helps no one, especially me. In the midst of the feeling that life is out of my control, I realize that control is an illusion. I never had the control I thought I did. I can only control what I can; to practice self-care and how I think; to live my life in this moment and make the most of today.

Meditation, journaling, fresh air, exercise and sunshine are key elements for me to stay positive. Knowing that I took necessary precautions like social distancing, wearing a mask and sanitizing have gone a long ways to reduce my anxiety and fear that even though I’ve been exposed, my risk of contracting the disease is minimal. Having two weeks off work, I have no excuse not to spend the time with my writing. I plan to make the most of the gift of this time.

2020 has been especially challenging. This is the time of year to start thinking about gift giving and the holidays. Not being able to spend the holiday with family and friends in the normal traditions can lead to depression and a sense of loss. Traditions will have to change this year even though change is often difficult to embrace. It’s time to be creative. How can you reach out to cheer up someone? Maybe a phone call, a Zoom get together or a note or card in the mail. Everyone is hurting. Not only will you cheer up others, it will make you feel better. Doing for others is a form of self-care.

2020 has been a year of reflection more than most. It’s brought the realization of how fragile life can be. I’ve had to ask myself “Is this how I want to live the rest of my life, however long that may be?”

The gift I give myself this year is the gift of my life—to; live it day-to-day doing what brings me joy and fulfillment; to follow my passion and fulfill the purpose I’ve been put on earth for. 2020 has taught me the lesson to not put off my dreams until tomorrow. This moment in time is all I have.

(FYI: I had a Covid19 test today. I’ll keep you posted.)

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Making decision has never come easy for me. I can mull things over for weeks and still be uncertain of what decision to make and often by the time I make a decision, it is too late–the opportunity is gone

Growing up, I wasn’t taught to make my own decisions, but doing what I was told was the expectation. When I had to make decisions for myself, they often did not seem to be the best choice.

In hindsight, what I regretted as poor decisions was more often than not a lesson I needed to  learn.

Now that I’m older, I’m beginning to realize that delaying making decisions is delaying living. It is missing opportunities and open doors. The decisions I choose to make are mine alone. Right or wrong, it is totally my choice. Any decision is better than no decision.

“I step out of the tomb of uncertainty. The power of decision is mine.”



Image may contain: ocean, sky, outdoor and nature, text that says '"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." Theodore Roosevelt'

I Can See Clearly Now

My vision was never great, but I thought it was normal with glasses. Then I had cataract surgery and was amazed at how clearly I could see. I had been looking through a cloud. What I thought was normal, was far from it. The world was in focus for the first time since I could remember, and I realized how much I had been missing. It made me wonder how much of what I think is normal have I been viewing through a cloud?

Growing up in a small farm community in the Midwest clouded my vision of the world. Not being exposed to different races and cultures gave me a limited view. It was easy to assume that everyone had the same life experiences as me.

Visiting different parts of the world, and even parts of our own country was an eye-opening experience. Talking openly to people of diverse races, cultures, ages and backgrounds taught me that even though we may all seem different, when the vision is clear, we are all the same.

How clearly do I see myself or is that clouded by self-doubt, lack of confidence and other people’s perceptions–how they see me?

It is necessary to stay open-minded, ask questions and listen to people who are different than me. When I questioned my own reality about the world, people and even myself, the focus became clear and changed my life.



Dive Into Every Joy

It’s difficult in today’s world not to get in a funk. Not seeing family and friends or even being able to go out to dinner takes its toll, let alone the fear and anxiety of the pandemic. Throw in the hate, violence, racism and negativity we are bombarded with, it’s often hard to find joy.

This morning, turning the page in my journal, these words jumped out at me, “Dive into every joy!”

I started contemplated things that bring me joy that I’ve been neglecting. Music, meditation and writing were high on the list. What does it mean to dive into joy? Diving is letting go, free falling. Once you dive, you’re committed; there’s no turning back mid-dive. When you dive into the water, you are totally immersed. There is nothing else but the water. Whatever is happening on shore is meaningless. For me, diving into joy is completely embracing and giving myself to that which brings me joy and forgetting, at least for a time, everything else.

What joy can you dive into today?